caribbean travel roundup - july 1997, part 2/4

caribbean travel roundup - july 1997, part 2/4 caribbean travel roundup newsletter - paul graveline, editor caribbean travel roundup paul graveline, editor edition 76 july 15, 1997 final updated 10 july 97 1100et | ctr homepage | island index | search | haiti by l. j. powlen iii my thoughts on haiti is a continuation on my views and experiences in the caribbean after living in pr for three years and traveling around to some of the other islands for business and pleasure. the stuff on haiti is going to pertain mainly to business travelers. i traveled fairly extensively in haiti from 95 through 97 and i would not call it a tourist destination, with one exception. they do have a club med there and if you're french looking for a french vacation, this could be a reasonable destination. on all my trips i stay in port au prince and made day trips to the other locations i needed to visit. traveling by vehicle through haiti is a chancy business at best. on two of my trips i had to travel north to cap haitian and goniaeves. on both occasions blockades were built across the road and attempts made to rob us, this is definitely not a country to tour the boonies in. in port au prince there are three major hotels in petionville, montana, villa creole, and el rancho. i stayed at both montana and villa creole. villa creole is right next to el rancho and i talked with folks who stayed there. i should add that there is another hotel used by the us embassy and some of the business people, which is close to the presidential place in port au prince, i don't recall the name, but everyone i talked to who stayed there, hated it. montana was my favorite, its located on a hillside with a great view of port au prince and the harbor area. it was somewhat more secluded than the other two and quieter. this is a favorite of the un and us forces personnel. the pool was meticulously maintained the staff friendly. i had no problem with the food or the water, but i'm pretty careful about sanitation when i travel in places like haiti. basically if the it doesn't come out of a sealed bottle, don't drink it. i did have ice in my drinks and didn't have any consequences from that, but in retrospect that was a bit risky. the meals served in the hotel were great, basically continental cuisine and i enjoy it a lot. the patio with a view overlooking the valley for fruit, croissants, and cheese was idealic. don't eat or drink anything off the street. if you're not going to be back at the hotel for lunch, have them fix something for you to take with you. always carry a bottle of water too, it can be a harsh climate and safe drinking water is impossible to find outside the hotels. particularly do not drink any of the local liquor, which comes as a red, green, or yellow colored liquid found in recycled bottles. i did get backed into a little bit of a corner while haggling for some paintings and had a quick shot. i spent two days in the hospital and another seven flat on my back at home afterwards. villa creole is a close second choice. it is the favorite of the embassy personnel. the accommodations are larger, but pretty much the same in quality to the montana. don't drink the water left in your room, even though they tell you its had extra processing. this is a cardinal rule in haiti, if it isn't a sealed named brand bottle of water, don't drink it. el rancho is definite third. they have a casino inside, that not withstanding, the people i talked to who stayed there thought it was a distant third to the other two. the meals at villa creole were good, continental cuisine, heavy on the french flavor. breakfast was phenomenal though. for people going on business, check with the economic office at the embassy, i found the embassy people unbelievably accommodating and the economic office is very interested in encouraging business investment in haiti and everyone i talked too said they made life real easy, particularly when dealing with a disorganized and somewhat corrupt government. cigars: yeah, we're back to those again. lots of cubans and dominicans at pretty good prices. you can find pretty much what you want although sometimes they aren't well kept. plus the influx of un/us people has lead to a rise in prices. the montana kept maria mancini's as their bar brand, these are my all time favorite cubans. i heard a nasty rumor they weren't making them anymore, if its true, its really too bad. generally cubans will run about $5 to $7 each. there are a couple stores up in petionville, i really didn't have a preference, everyone had about the same prices and willingness to negotiate. shopping: primitive paintings, leather wall hangings, wood carvings, and steel drum art, were prevalent on about any street corner. be advised the haitians are well aware of what their art sells for in miami and ny and getting a bargain can be work. basically anything you express interest in starts at $200.00 us. ignore that. haiti has two currencies, goudes, which are about 16 to 18 to the $1 us and haitian dollars which are 5 to $1us. haitian dollars don't exist as a currency, its a scam to rip off the tourists. the best way to get a bargain is deal strictly in goudes, don't let them know you have any $us. most of the street vendors and off the main drag shops can't do the conversion rate in their heads, so as long as you have a good grasp of what it is you can make out. be prepared to be bombarded by vendors anytime you stop and show an interest in anything. basically look around, pick what you want, decide what you're willing to pay for it, then start negotiations. if you can't get the price you want, walk away. usually they'll chase you down the street dropping the price, till you get what you want, if they don't, you'll be able to find it on the next corner for the price you want. remember the old adage, if you're happy with what you paid, be happy. don't listen to what other say about what they paid, they're probably lying. painting off the street corner should run around $30 for the big ones. leather masks, $5 - $10, wood carvings about the same depending on size. steel drum art, shouldn't exceed $20.00 for a big one unless you really want it, small ones run $5 or less. taxis: taking a taxi can be a risky proposition in haiti, even if you hire it through the hotel. if you take one, be alert and know where you're going. otherwise have whoever is sponsoring you in haiti hire a regular car for you, or use the embassy transportation. jamaica: ocho rios restaurants by marty bush for those of you visiting ocho rios for one or more days, a good or 'specialty' restaurant may be just what you are looking for. as a property owner in ocho rios who is on the island for extended periods, and also must provide tourist information to guests of my condos, i put together a short list of ocho rios eateries where you can sample the local cuisine, or eat strictly continental if you desire. each of the restaurants mentioned below have been visited on numerous occasions by my wife and i, as well as many friends, and we recommend each and every one. ************ ocho rios restaurant information ************** the little pub - little pub complex, 59 main street, 974-2324. the little pub is located 1/4 mile to the west of carib ocho rios (to the right as leaving). their hours are from 7am to 1am daily. american and local steak & seafood selections are served in on the most unusual shopping centers in jamaica. take a break from shopping and feast on the succulent lobster luncheon. other features of the little pub complex include a sports bar with live sports programming, an outdoor grill, slot machines, a spanish theme bar, and the original musical "caribbean dream", which plays every wednesday, friday and saturday at 10pm. don't miss this dinner show as you will enjoy every moment of your dinner and the show. evita's italian restaurant - edan bower road, 974-2333 - you will need a car or taxi to get to evita's. it is located to the west of town on the way to dunns river falls at a turn-off on the left going up the mountain. this is an authentic 1860 gingerbread house overlooking the ocho rios area and mallards bay from the side of the mountain with outside verandah dining. don't worry if inclement weather arrives since there is plenty of excellent seating arrangements under roof. eva is your italian hostess and also speaks german, french and spanish. it is "the best little pasta house in jamaica" as their own advertisements say. and we can't agree more after dining here for many years. evita's is famous for their excellent northern italian cuisine with superb pasta and seafood selections. for a special birthday, with one day's notice and proof of birth date, the birthday person receives a free dinner and free party cake. and for your wedding anniversary (also one day's notice), a free celebration cake for the whole party is provided. the only requirement (and a pleasant one) is that you are celebrating the event at evita's. parkway inn restaurant & lounge - 60 main street, 974-2667 - the parkway is one of the truly 'local' restaurants which also caters to tourists. the food is very good and the prices even better when you take advantage of the discount coupon provided by us. on weekend nights, you will enjoy a fashion show within the restaurant while dining. please be certain to request the 'local menu' for discounts from the 'foreigner' menu. minnie’s restaurant - on the grounds of carib ocho rios, 974-2445 - minnie’ s is nestled in a lush tropical setting among foliage and palms. it offers exceptional cuisine including exceptional vegetarian and seafood dishes. here at the water's edge, you are embraced by nature as you dine in casual elegance. the location can't be closer to you as it is right on the grounds of carib ocho rios. minnie’s also has a fine wine selection from all over the world. and while on the private beach of the condo, you can either take a short walk to the outdoor portion of the restaurant to have lunch or drinks, or have them brought to you. there is also a bar and outdoor lounge available to simply relax or swap information with other people. ocho rios jerk center - dacosta drive - (no credit or charge cards) - you will need a car or taxi to get to the jerk center. for the absolute best in jerk pork, jerk chicken, and jerk fish (including my favorite jerk conch), this is the place for the lunch before or after doing some shopping in town. one of our favorites is jerk fish where you are served up a beautifully cooked red snapper. the dress code is extremely casual and you will eat in the open air with local music and probably meet many other tourists and jamaicans who know where to find some of the best jerk food in town. tradewinds restaurant - 47 main street, 974-2433 - a true commitment to quality is rare, but at the tradewinds restaurant, quality is a way of life. lobster is one of the house specialties, along with a heaping fresh seafood platter, zesty barbecued chicken and lots of other tempting suggestions. dine indoors or under twinkling stars on the patio amid lush foliage. the decor is all natural with a rustic thatched roof and comfortable wicker furniture. there is hardly a visit we have ever made to ocho rios where we didn't have dinner at the tradewinds during the trip. the almond tree restaurant - hisbiscus lodge, main street, 974-2676 - the almond tree is located right next door a few hundred feet walk to the west of carib ocho rios (to the right as leaving). this relaxing restaurant is famed for its large menu of international cuisine. whether you're in the mood for fondue bourguignon, caribbean lobster prepared in any of several succulent ways, prime beef or fresh local seafood, the almond tree has it all. the almond tree sits above the caribbean, where cool breezes and beautiful vistas delight you. note that this is a very expensive restaurant, but usually, the cost is worth it. ruins restaurant - dacosta drive, 974-2442. you will need a car or taxi to visit the ruins (about 1-1/2 miles), but it is usually well worth it. here the surroundings are as spectacular as the food. while you feast on superb cuisine such as fresh caribbean sea specialties and succulent meat entries, most with a chinese/jamaican 'twist', you'll enjoy the natural beauty of the locale. dine beside a waterfall that tumbles 40 feet into a tropical pool amidst lush forests. it's an experience to be treasured. bibibips - main street, 974-1287. (no credit or charge cards) this fairly new restaurant may be seen from the beach of carib ocho rios. as you look to the left facing the water, a set of winding steps are built into the cliff leading up to a very nice restaurant. we have found their food to be good, local cuisine you should sample during your visit, and their prices are reasonable. hong kong international restaurant - 50 main street, 974-0588. serving chinese, mongolian, thailandese, jamaican and continental food, this restaurant is one not to miss if you enjoy this international flair. the restaurant is on a second floor of a building in the center of town, and there is little if any view of the surrounding town. but the food is excellent. my favorite is steamed snapper with garlic, onion and vegetable toppings. they have two sizes, and the larger portion may suit two people, or one with a big appetite. all of the other oriental type foods are abundant and well prepared. double v jerk pork centre - 109 main street, 974-0174. (no credit or charge cards) the double v is the main competitor to the ocho rios jerk centre, and has a better ambiance and equally good food. being much farther from where the cruise ships dock for the day, it does not have the same amount of tourist traffic. the jerk chicken and jerk pork are very good as long as you are there around lunch time. after that, everything tends to become over cooked. mug restaurant - highway 1a, st. anns bay, 972-1018. (no credit or charge cards) just a short 15 minute ride to the west of ocho rios is this excellent small restaurant and bar where the best of local seafood may be had for a reasonable price. the dining area is on a patio adjacent to the sea with the low sounds of swishing water providing a good background. their menu consists of many different types of seafood, octopus, leeks and everything else you would expect, but don't be surprised if they don't have everything on the menu when you are there. everything is freshly cooked at mug's, and if they didn't catch it that day, you won't be eating it. glenn's restaurant and pub - tower cloisters tower, 975-4360. glenns has excellent continental dishes, and is also a jazz club. a famous jamaican artist who frequently plays there is sonny bradshaw. glenn's is a 15 minute ride to the east, and if you do not have a car, they will send a driver to bring you to the restaurant, and take you 'home' after your fine meal. pineapple pizza pub - pineapple place, 974-6426. so you want a good pizza while in jamaica? look no further as this is the best in the area. they also have hamburgers and fried chicken. their pizza is a complete meal with the best in pizza dough and toppings. this is a small place adjacent to the pineapple place hotel and is inside dining only. the "manager's special" is a very heavy and tasty pizza you won't soon forget. and don't forget to try their pineapple pizza which also includes a canadian bacon topping. blue cantina - 81 main street, 974-2430. if you are looking for the best in mexican tacos (yes... in jamaica), look no further. the blue cantina may not look like the best place to eat, and is pretty much a little shack on the side of the road with a small dining room. but their tacos are second to none, and if you want to sample the local food in a 'boxed lunch', try the fried chicken or curried goat. you won't be sorry you did. jamaica: grand lido by john smiley grand lido continued to live up to its reputation of a high quality resort. this was our second visit and in the 18 months improvements in food quality, staff and facilities were evident. i dived this time (scuba) and it was fun. here are some tips and tidbits on what to expect. these notes are based on our trip 5/97. see my previous trip report 11/95 for additional info. getting there was a drag our best laid plans were crushed by northwest airlines canceling its only tampa to montego bay flight. they kindly transferred us to american airlines; who placed us on a shuttle to miami and then a 6 pm flight to montego bay. i give northwest 2 points for coordinating with american and 10 points to american who got us there. we were concerned our room would be reassigned with our late arrival and i tried to get in touch with gl from the airport. it turned out gl changed their phone number to 1-809-957- 5010. we got the correct number by calling international lifestyles 1-800-858-8009 (another number i had with me from the brochure). make a phone number list; you never know when you will need it. the big bummer for us was charter flights from montego bay to negril stop at 5:30pm (vfr flight rules). we got to experience the montego bay bus ride to grand lido. it was 1 hour and 40 minutes at night on twisty, windy roads that all look the same (for those of you that remember zork). it was interesting with righthand drive, cows and afterdark cyclists for about the first 20 minutes. we made sure we got reservations on timair for the return to maximize beach time. i have to compliment timair. i called them trying to arrange my schedule changes and they volunteered to contact gl about our late arrival. they get my business (montego bay (809) 952-2516). super clubs was efficient getting us onto a bus. they have a fairly large counter in the mobay airport. but we missed an afternoon of sun and our total travel time exceeded 16 hours from seattle to negril! we heard there is a non-stop air jamaica flight from la to mobay once a week. this might be a better option for west coast folks than the us tour we had. reception reception was nice as last time. they have you fill out a few forms to help confirm flight reservations for your return. bags are delivered direct to your room from the bus. gl thankfully held our room and gave us our room preference. andrea did a good job. yea, we got there! gl staff we found the staff to be more friendly this visit (not that last visit was bad) and even better if you engaged them. make an effort to remember names and act like a guest. they were wonderful. we consistently got great service from everyone. housekeeping did a great job with our rooms. they did more than just clean the rooms; they paid attention to how we used the rooms (more towels, floor mat at the patio door). i spent some time chatting with lennox. the bar tenders at the c/o beach bar were great all week, clifford , madolie and godffrey. the people appeared to like their jobs and the guests. gl food food had improved. generally, i rate the food as follows; appetizers (good-excellent), soups (good), salad (good), entree (good), desserts (excellent). the buffets were good to excellent and room service was good. fresh fruits were abundant; the papaya and pineapple were our favorite. the room service menu wasn't extensive but offered chicken sandwiches, burgers, lamb chops, fruit, salad, etc. they added veggie burgers. the longest we waited for room service was maybe 30 minutes. people were ordering room service directly to the pool and the hottub area this time. there was a phone in the bar and you just ordered it from the timber house. we ordered drinks one night from the hot tub and they were there in under 5 minutes! piacere piacere requires a coat (tie not necessary). for the improperly dressed male, they had some one-size-fits-all loaner coats. you must make reservations. we ate here twice and it's worth taking the effort to eat here as many times as possible. white glove service, piano music, best food in the resort, good atmosphere. get on the reservation list asap when you check-in. don't miss-out on this place. the food improved measurably since the last visit (it was good before but now it's excellent). salads showed the most improvement from being forgettable to memorable. they added a palate cleanser sorbet before the main course. grandville was there from before. we got great service from all of our waiters; anthony, oral, orville and grandville. we had an angus filet prepared with a mushroom and pate sauce; it was so good i had it both times. the tropical passion dessert was a chocolate lovers delight. buffets and other food comments they totally redid the buffet line to break it up and added hot/cold areas and sneeze guards. it made access to the food a lot better than the single file line from before. it was easy to drop by the buffet and just get a few items without a major time commitment. from 8 to 10:30 am each morning, there is a full breakfast buffet. the breakfast buffet was pretty much everything you could want, all of it good. they open a lunch buffet around 11:30; again quite good. we generally sat in the same area when the buffet was going and got to meet mark, terrence, everton and other staff. all did a great job of service. the buffet and food changes, and staff made eating in the terrace nicer than before and more relaxed. we got into a habit of doing room service for breakfast. i did the 9 am scuba dive; wife did the aerobics; met in the terrace for the end of the breakfast buffet; and then to the beach. twice a week they have a gala buffet that starts at 7:30. it was great, go a little early and lock down a nice table. some of the tables were outside and romantic in the evening breeze. the barbecued shrimp and jerk chicken were the best and were served outside near the pool; look for it. gl drinks wine improved considerably since our last visit. you now had a choice of 4 or 5 different blends (chilean and french). not exceptional wines but far better than the discount chilean wine of our past visit. champagne was still the concha y' toro; not real memorable except the day after. fruit juice drinks were good. ask for fruit punch (without the syrup); virgin pina colata's or ting (grapefruit & 7-up). they were really refreshing; we drank and ate lots of fruit. they had slurpee-like (granita) coolers at the beach bars. one of them had a drink called a hummingbird; real tasty with rum cream. gl rooms this time we had room 1066, a ground floor, ocean view room, junior suite on the c/o side and loved it. the building with rooms 1065 to 1074 seems to be the best as far as view and distance/proximity to bar/pool/tub arrangement. ground floor units allowed you to spread out in front of the unit. the second floor units had a small balcony and you had to walk around to get to the beach side. we talked to one couple that had a room directly over the pool/tub area and hated it because of the noise from the late night guests and the whine of the hot tub most of the night. they immediately asked for, and got, a room change. rooms were good, clean. they had removed the carpeting from the upper area and tiled the whole room. it made the room appear cleaner and cooler than before. "guests don't get rug burns now.", the staff explained. rooms were in better condition than our previous visit. beds were comfy. each room had a wall safe. it was relaxing to lock-up passports, tickets, money, etc. and then walk around unencumbered with wallets & purses. we specified our room preferences on booking and then a week before by fax. repeat visitor reception since this was our second time there, we were invited to a repeat visitor reception before dinner. they had a nice spread of appetizers and the senior members of their staff were there. it was nice to meet them and some of the other visitors. some people have returned there an incredible number of times. one couple got married there and returned on their anniversary every year. i think they were up to 7 times! those of you thinking about a wedding at gl can be a little less apprehensive (at least about gl). we met sophia the wedding coordinator. she has been there since gl opened. she was warm, friendly and appeared quite competent. there was a wedding while we were there at the new gazebo and it looked like it came off great. we asked one of the family members and they were pleased. facility changes they added a gazebo that sits above the water and rocks on the c/o side for weddings. they decorate the posts with flowers for the weddings. i was a nice place to sit in the evenings. the timber house has a hottub area i didn't remember from before. they are planning to make the gym/aerobics area enclosed and air-conditioned. they are also going to add a presidential suite building on the main beach. it was clear superclubs wasn't sitting on its laurels with all the vacation competition from braco, sandals and couples. gl had enjoyed the luxury of being the only large resort on bloody bay. couples is in on the process of building one of their resorts next to gl. i hope it doesn't change the serenity of bloody bay but it's got to make a difference. beaches there are two beaches clothing optional and textile. the textile beach is nice, large, straight, sandy beach and kinda like you'd expect with lounges parked side by side. the c/o beach was convoluted, smaller and with more shade. we liked the c/o beach better; it had more personality. if naked people bother you, i don't think you would be disappointed in the textile beach. they groom the beach each morning and cleanup in the evenings. they rotate through the pools and hot tubs daily with a chemical maintenance. entertainment the entertainment was better and more professional this time around. one day we sat in the piano bar and ike personally entertained and talked with us like we were the only ones there. the jazz bands were good. they had a steel band for the beach party. had some cabaret type entertainment. we went to the pajama party and felt overdressed. it was a disco and like you'd imagine it was loud and a little smoky. folks were having fun. we left early and headed to the hot tub. the fitness center was nice. my wife did the aerobics class 3 times and rated it pretty high. they had a temporary instructor sharren who really drove the class. my zein the sunset cruise was fun and improved since last time; do it. they added a calypso band; better h'orderves; the cruise went down to the negril lighthouse and returned just at sunset. guys must wear slacks; ladies get away with dress shorts or better. again get reservations asap; i can't imagine going there and missing out on the cruise. scuba i got certified at home before this trip. bring your card; they did ask for mine. they have 2 dives a day; 9 am (deep dive) and 11:30 am (shallow & class dive). we arranged for one 1:30 pm dive during the week with some haggling. the deep dives are generally about 60 feet; the shallow dives about 20. i did the 11:30 am dive first to learn the boat procedures. the 9 am dives were the best. the 11:30am dives were crowded with the resort scuba class. the dive masters and crew were safety conscience. they kept the dive times in the 30 minute range, rehearsed dive signals each dive, assigned buddies, did safety stops. first person to hit 1000 psi and the dive was over. exactly what i wanted being new to the diving scene. it was a great place to go if you were recently certified; i got 7 dives in. the staff were good and fun to be with. norman and llyod are the senior staff and do the padi classes and class dives. randy and keith took out the certified divers at 9. the boat crew valentine and andy made sure all the gear was on the boat for the dives. you signed up a day ahead for the dive and they placed the bcd (small, medium, large) and tank on the boat for you. you picked up your weight belt, fins etc. and took them to the boat. on return you took them back to the scuba hut and signed up for the next day. they had mask defogger on the boat (i think it was lemon joy). their equipment was in fair to good condition. i would bring your own mask, snorkel and fins. their fins were not very stiff and i had trouble at times getting my size because the snorkelers had checked them out. bcd and regulators were well used but were fine. they video tape the 9 o'clock dives and then sell you the tapes for $30. they also offer the certified divers padi advanced diver training. this was my first time doing warm water diving and it was a breeze compared to puget sound. water temperature was 80+ degrees. i wore a dive skin but didn't need it; it gave me abrasion protection but i didn't need that either. we had clear and calm water. people that were there the week before had some surge, waves and stronger currents. it was like an aquarium for us. saw sea turtles, arrow crabs, lobster, eels, mostly smaller colorful fish, lots of sponges and coral. best dives for me were shark reef, turtle bay and throne room. tim air back to montego bay we used the concierge to arrange our return flight to montego bay. the flight was scheduled for 12 noon; we left the gl at 11:45. the negril airport has expanded some since our last visit. air jamaica express had a large hut at the airport; timair still had their smaller building. the timair plane was there right on time and we were off to mobay. flight was a scenic 20 minutes. cost was $137 for both of us; one way to mobay. i like it! plan on tipping the baggage handlers on both ends. phone calls we had difficulty placing calls to home. we never successfully made an mci card call without getting mci customer service involved. our card kept coming up as not valid but within the us it was valid. mci didn't know if it had to do with the area code changes in puget sound, jamaica, blocked card calls (fraud control) from the caribbean or what. we got bounced from automated service, to operators, to customer service. mci customer service did fiddle around with it and both time just forced the call through. but it took 10's of minutes and lots of button pushes (over and over again) to call home. i hear long distance within jamaica is frightfully expensive be careful you don't connect over a long distance line to your card provider. call your service provider before the trip to understand the current situation. conclusion we continue to recommend gl. they deliver a good product for people that want a classy, relaxing vacation. it is laid back; not the party crowd of hedo but still fun. the water, beaches, buildings and grounds were immaculate. scuba added a new dimension for me. the food was good to excellent and plentiful all day and night. the staff was charming and helpful; if you wanted it just ask. next time we'll shoot for 10 days. jamaica: grand lido by carol hill (ed note: carol first provides a description of grand lido and the relates in diary form her vacation at the resort. pictures and full text of both reviews are on carol's home page at http://www.jnpcs.com/ehill) the grandiose grand lido--it's not perfect, but it is pretty damn grand!! we just returned from a trip from 6/14/97 to 6/21/97 at the grand lido in negril, jamaica. this was our third trip to negril, with previous trips to negril being to hedonism ii and the negril beach club. our favorite vacations before this have been cruises (20- some cruises, all but one to the caribbean) and st. martin, which we have visited several times. we have also traveled to aruba several times, as well as antigua, cancun and the bahamas. we booked through go classy tours, as we always do for jamaica. based on recommendations from the prodigy bb, we paid for beachfront accommodations and requested nude first floor rooms. unlike hedonism, grand lido does not currently have different room categories for nude and prude side beaches, although i wouldn't be surprised to see that next year. (hii has room categories of prude gardenview, prude beachfront, nude gardenview and nude beachfront). gl room categories are gardenview, oceanview and beachfront, plus the full suites. the full suites were about $500 per person more for the week. we did not see any of the suites which appeared to be in use, but we seriously doubt that they could be worth the extra money for them. based on brochure rates (which are not necessarily what one pays) gardenview is only approximately $100 per week cheaper than oceanview and oceanview is only approximately $100 per week (per person, that is) cheaper than beachfront. based on the layout of the place, i personally would never book the gardenview rooms, especially if you're interested in the nude side, as they are so far from everything and the view is really horrible. if you are pinching pennies, actually the oceanview rooms are not bad as they are just down from the nude beachfront rooms. it's a little bit of a further walk, but you should have no trouble with noise from the nude hot tub, if you're a light sleeper. as i said, we requested first floor nude rooms, and we were very happy that we did. on the first floor rooms, one can walk directly out of your french doors directly to the beach without putting on any clothes. on the second floor, one is expected to don some type of clothing to head to the beach. also, the first floor rooms have a patio with two small chairs and a dining-height table, plus most people did as we did, which was pull up a couple of chaise lounges right by your patio to lay on. this was especially nice first thing in the morning and toward sunset. the balconies for the second floor rooms were very small--maybe 3 feet by 6 feet and had only 2 chairs and i don't believe they had any table at all. other than the full suites, all rooms at gl are the same. we had room 1061, which was a great location for us, on the first floor nude beach and close to the hot tub. you entered the room through a hallway with bathroom on the left and storage on the right, leading to the bedroom area, down two steps leading on to the seating area, then out toward the beach. storage space consisted of about 5 feet of hanging space, with about 15 hangers provided, 4 drawers, and 3 open shelves. a 4-cup coffee maker with coffee and tea were provided--and really appreciated. there was also a coffee pot with regular and decaf coffee at the nude bar in the morning. there was an iron and ironing board in the closet, as well as a keyed safe. and speaking of keys, gl provides their keys on wrist bracelets, which comes in pretty handy on the nude beach. however, the room number on our key was not our actual room number. i think that this was probably on purpose, and a good idea, especially since eric left his key (including the safe key!!!!!) out by the nude hot tub one night. we went to the front desk and they had no problem whatsoever finding what key to give us, so i'm sure they have a code for such things. the bathroom featured a bathtub, shampoo/lotion/bath gel dispenser, a 5 foot vanity and hairdyer. lights in the bathroom--as well as elsewhere throughout the room--were a little dim. we enjoyed the provision of 4 nice-sized bathtowels, complete the with raised gl logo. i thought they would look wonderful in my bathroom here at home, but eric didn't feel like spending a couple of years in a jamaican jail, so he refused to pack a couple when we came home. boo. the bedroom area of the room was around 10 by 14 and featured a king sized bed, table on each side of the bed, phone, 2 bed lamps, a make- up table with chair, and a full length wall mirror. down two steps from the bedroom area was the living room area, which was approximately 8 by 14 and consisted of a couch and chair, coffee table, and remote control tv and stereo/boombox unit. the tv channels were cbs, nbc, abc, discovery, hbo, fox, playboy, a spanish channel, and tbs. there was a boombox dual cassette tape player, as well as a radio (but no cd player). french doors from the room led out onto the beach. unfortunately, the doors did not lock with the key. they only locked with deadbolts at the top and bottom. so, we basically had to leave the french doors unlocked or go around to the front door to get into the room. obviously, we opted for the former. we basically locked up everything important in the safe, with the exception of our camera, so it wasn't a major problem. next time we go to gl, i will probably leave the good camera at home, so there will effectively be nothing to steal in the room except our clothes. ("he who steals my clothes steals trash" ???) nude beach facilities are important to us, and the availability of same was one of the main reasons we booked at gl. nude beach facilities were good, although frankly not as good as hedonism at the current time. the prude beach at gl is a long, pretty wonderful traditional beach with some shade (not a lot), and almost no rocks, etc., in the water. the nude beach has lots more shade, is quite a bit shorter and has some rocks, seaweed, coral, etc., in the water. it is not the best beach we have seen, by far, but adequate. if you want to spend a whole lot of time in the water, some water shoes might be in order. there is a nude pool and hot tub right on the beach with a bar which is open 10 am to 6 pm. unlike hedo there is no swim-up bar and in fact, no place to sit at the bar at all, and no grill currently. as of our trip, they are building a grill right by the nude bar. i'm not sure exactly what the situation will be when it is finished, but i hope that one will be able to just walk up at lunch time and get a hamburger or hotdog, etc., from this grill, as we perceived this to be a major deficiency at gl. it was kind of a big deal sometimes to get something to eat at lunchtime, as one either had to put on clothes (taking for granted that one was on the nude beach) and head to the main dining room, or order room service for lunch. room service could be ordered to be delivered to the nude bar area, but it still was a little bit of trouble to do and usually took 30-45 minutes to arrive. ok, so what about food at the grandiose grand lido? there are three restaurants for dinner, plus buffets for breakfast and lunch every day, and buffet for dinner on two nights, plus 24 hour room service, and the three 24 hour "houses", the timber house, stone house, and beach house. the room service and "house" menus were the same, with the addition of breakfast items on a separate hang-tag system. one could go to the timber, stone or beach house (24 hours) and be served by a waitress, including drink orders, and generally service was quicker than room service. items included a tossed salad, chef salad (good!), soup de jour, club sandwich (decent), lamb chops (great!!!!!), snapper sandwich (ok, but one had to order french fries separately--which were very good, by the way), deli sandwich, potato skins (wonderful!!), hamburger (awful!), hotdog, ice cream, fresh fruit plate, brownie (good!!), and an ice cream with banana dessert which sounded wonderful but we didn't have. we ordered room service several times and it always was what we ordered and generally arrived within 15-20 minutes, although one or two times it took close to 40 minutes around lunch time. breakfast from room service is served from 6 a.m. to 10 a.m., in 15 minute increments and one orders it by placing a hang-tag on your door by 2 a.m. breakfast choices were supposedly the executive, which consisted of fruit, cereal, yogurt, danish, coffee and mimosa, and the negril eye opener, which consisted of danish, coffee and oj. side orders included cottage cheese, fruit plates, and various fruit juices. of course, we wanted a combination of both, so we just wrote in what we wanted on the tag and it always arrived within the designated time frame and was exactly what we ordered. especially since we were staying on the first floor on the nude beach, i really preferred the breakfast served on our patio to going to the main dining room. the breakfast buffet at the main restaurant was served from 8 a.m. to 10:30 a.m., and included made-to-order omelettes and eggs, plus scrambled eggs, sausage, bacon, hash browns, plantains, fruits, salmon, and either pancakes or french toast and several other items which changed daily. coffee, orange juice and water were served by usually very attentive servers, who generally seated us, drawing out our chairs and placing our napkins on our laps. lunch buffets were served from 12:30 to 3 p.m., and normally consisted of some luncheon meats, fruits, salads, and about 3 or 4 hot entrees and a couple of hot vegetables, plus various desserts and ice cream. servers served mixed drinks, plus 4 different varieties of wine, iced tea and coffee. service for lunch was generally excellent also, although iced tea seemed to take much too long to deliver. a couple of days, the luncheons had "themes"--cajun one day (with a great cajun steak and cajun fries) and mexican another day. dinner offered three choices on most nights, la pasta, cafe lido and piacere. buffets were offered at dinner on friday and wednesday and (other than room service and the houses), buffet and la pasta were the only choices on friday night. wednesday night was supposed to be carnival night, but i didn't really see anything which signified carnival to me. we arrived for the "grand buffet" on friday night very late, and just picked up a few items. i presume that the selection was much better earlier on. la pasta is open 3 p.m. to 2 a.m. and shorts are perfectly acceptable. la pasta offered garlic bread, one meat dish and about 4 different pastas with 4 different sauces, plus some desserts. we ate there once and i was not particularly impressed. cafe lido is open 6:30 to 10:00 p.m. cafe lido serves a continental menu which varies each night. written materials for cafe lido indicate that no shorts are allowed. we would not have a problem with that policy, if that really were the policy. however, the shorts policy was enforced sporadically. on saturday night, eric wore long pants and observed 50% of the men in shorts. on sunday night, eric wore shorts--nice shorts, and not particularly short shorts, and the maitre d' quite snottily told us that he would allow us to sit outside that night but that they only allowed "dress shorts". of course, on subsequent nights, we saw a gal with very short shorts, plus a fellow with ragged jean shorts, dining there. we ate at cafe lido on three occasions and were very impressed with food and service on the first two. the menu varied each night, but consisted basically of about 3 appetizers, a couple of soups, a salad and about 4 entrees. we enjoyed some wonderful spring rolls, grilled salmon, and pork with vegetables and a merely adequate prime rib and creme brulee. on the first two times we arrived fairly close to 6:30, sat outside and had absolutely wonderful service. on the third occasion, we arrived at approximately 8 p.m. and wanted to sit inside. we were told that in order to eat inside, there were approximately 15 parties in front of us, which would have roughly translated to about an hour wait. we took the last table available outside. service that night was very slow, the meal was interminable, my wine glass remained empty for about 10 minutes, and in general, the comparison to the first two nights at cafe lido was amazing. frankly, considering the other two choices for dinner are piacere (reservations only and about 20 tables only) and la pasta (about a dozen tables, plus service at the bar but no reservations), i was pretty distressed that one could not go to cafe lido at 8 pm and expect to be served for an hour, and that the quality of the service when the whole restaurant was full was so much worse than it was the first two nights. it seems to me that if the resort is anywhere near full, that there are not nearly enough tables available for dinner. even though it didn't appear to us to be the case, at least by friday night, the resort was supposedly 100% full. piacere is the french restaurant, and the only one that requires reservations. jackets, but not ties, are required for piacere, although the restaurant does keep a couple on hand for emergencies, as the fellow in front of us used one of the resort's coats. we were able to only get reservations for one night there. service and food at piacere are definitely worth the trouble for reservations and the dress code. we had lobster bisque soup, crab cakes, fabulous steaks, and a very decent red wine. one neat aspect of grand lido is the m/y zein, which is the yacht that princess grace of monaco supposedly spent her honeymoon on. there are sunset cruises every day of the week except friday and sunday, i believe, as well as a nude cruise on thursday morning. technically, one is supposed to sign up through the concierge, but no one checked names on either cruise. i think that they mainly wanted to get an idea of how many are coming. the sunset cruise is from approximately 4 p.m. to 6:45 and offers drinks and very light hors douvres. dress for the sunset cruise required long pants for the men. the nude cruise is on thursday morning from about 10:30 to 12:15. there are drinks but no food served onboard. and it is hot, so the hose on the top deck to spritz oneself with water is very welcome. the zein is also used for some weddings and reaffirmations. gl's brochure proclaims that they serve premium liquors and local brands. this is true, for the most part. tanqueray, jack daniels, jim beam, grand marnier, etc., were available, as well as wines and champagne. however, my personal favorite, bacardi rum, was not available. the main reason is basically political, as one of jamaica's main products is appleton rum, which is the only rum that they served. also, there were no beers available, except red stripe, which is the jamaican beer. the absence of a bacardi was a major deal for me, and i ended up going over to hedonism ii and buying bacardi at the store there. bar service in general was excellent at gl, and there was no problem with weak drinks whatsoever. during the main daylight hours, from about 11 a.m. to 4 p.m., there was a waitress walking the beach taking drink orders. bar service at the houses and the main buffet restaurant was generally excellent. maid service during our visit was problematical. i have to assume that, based on the level of service which we observed elsewhere in the resort, that the quality of our maid service was an aberration. the timing of the service was odd, both in the morning and in the evening. most days, the maid did not arrive to make up the room until after noon. also, several days she did not leave us any hand-towels for the bathroom. evening service was even more problematical. on at least two occasions, she arrived at approximately 9 pm, when we had just arrived back from dinner. we basically just told her to leave us some fresh towels and get lost. then, on one other night, she arrived at after 10 p.m. two nights she did not come at all. i have to assume that this was not the normal level of service to be expected at this resort. the resort was full, at least on friday night, so this might have had something to do with it. ok, so what about entertainment and activities? most days, we had breakfast, read or sunned or talked with other beach inhabitants, had lunch, sunned some more, watched the sunset from the hot tub, had dinner, spent an hour or two in the hot tub and went to bed. a really full schedule!! there were lots of activities available during the day and some during the night, although we ignored most of them. there was snorkeling gear available during the day and many people snorkeled just off the beach, and there were two boat snorkeling trips per day, plus scuba diving and glass bottomed boat. there were sunfish sailboats plus sailboards and giant trikes and waterskiing, all included. there were parasailing and jetskis available for rent for an additional fee, in addition to a catamaran cruise with snorkeling down to rick's for about $40 pp. the resort also offered various excursions, including tours to kingston, ys falls, dunn's river falls, a plantation tour, a submarine ride, negril highlights, horseback riding, countryside tour, shopping to negril ($10 pp) and transfers to rick's cafe ($13 pp). evening entertainment for us consisted mostly of dinner then a few hours in the hot tub or laying out by the ocean. there was entertainment in the main dining area from around 9 p.m. there was a 50's/60's night and there was kareoke several nights, which we think is the rough equivalent of "stupid people tricks", so we don't go. there is no toga night, like at hedonism and, while there is a pj night, unlike when we went to the hedo pj party, there were no cows that gave their lives. the disco is open from 10:30 p.m., but we only went there the one night for the pj party, as i hate that loud noise. the piano bar is nice and cool and is a nice place for a quiet drink before dinner and they do serve some nice hors dourvres there, but you have to get there somewhat early to get them. in general, we were very impressed with the level of food and service at gl. except for the maid service, it compared about equally or was above the level we have come to expect from cruises. there are lots of amenities, from the room service to bar waitresses on the beach, to the wonderful floats provided on all the chairs, to the yacht, to the food and service at cafe lido and piacere, to ordering champagne and potato skins at 1 a.m. in the nude hot tub, which make the grand lido truly grand. (ed note: carol now provides a day by day account of her visit.) this report will be kind of a diary for the week for those who have been to gl before, as opposed to a description of the resort. question--how do you know you're back in jamaica? answer- -when you're propositioned twice to purchase ganja and you haven't even left the airport terminal building yet!! true story, from this trip! anyway, we had collected our luggage, gone through customs and were in a van leaving the airport within 35 minutes of landing. we were placed in a minivan with only one other couple. we had a semi- reasonable driver who didn't threaten the lives of too many dogs, cats, cows, horses, chickens, etc, on the trip to negril. most endearing to us, he actually asked if we wanted to stop at a bar and when we said no, we sailed on to the resort, arriving at about 2:45 p.m. we were greeted with a handshake and a "welcome to grand lido" smile. check-in is accomplished while you sit and enjoy the drink of your choice. still, it seemed to take forever, possibly because they had erroneously put on our reservation that we were supposed to be leaving on the 16th, two days after we arrived. strangely enough, the other couple we rode with from the airport had their check out date incorrect also. we didn't ask what room we had been assigned, but as our guide took us to our room and i saw that she was taking us to 1061, i knew that we had a great room. 1061 is just about a perfect location for us, just down from the nude pool and hot tub. we would certainly request another room within the range of 1059 to 1064 the next trip. since we hadn't had any lunch, we had a sandwich at the timber house, then headed back to the room to check for the suitcases, which finally arrived at the room (delivered inside the room) at 4:30. we watched the sunset from the nude beach and determined that, for this purpose, the facilities on the hedo nude beach are better, as you can't actually see the sun set from the section of nude beach by the hot tub, as there is a piece of land in the way. we had a very lovely dinner at cafe lido, including spring rolls, salmon pate, salad, grilled salmon, pork with vegetables, and a rather light chocolate dessert, accompanied by a chilean white and a french red wine. tired from the trip and a short night the night before, we retired early around 9:30. sunday we ate breakfast in the dining room and went to the concierge to sign up for piacere and for the nude cruise and the sunset cruise. we spent the morning on the beach until around 12:30 when it clouded up and started raining. we decided to use the occasion to head to the dining room for lunch and enjoyed a nice leisurely lunch, plus a couple of drinks at the bar. we headed back to the room and spent the afternoon sleeping and reading in the room, as it basically rained until about 4:30. fortunately this was the only protracted rain of the week. dinner on sunday was again at cafe lido and the food and service again were excellent, with prime rib and creme brulee. however, the shorts policy at cafe lido provided one of the few bad moments of the week. the problem is that half the people we had seen dining there on saturday night had been in shorts. therefore, on sunday night, eric wore shorts--nice shorts, and not particularly short shorts, but the maitre d' quite snottily told us that he would allow us to sit outside that night but that they only allowed "dress shorts". of course, on subsequent nights, we saw a gal with very short shorts, plus a fellow with ragged jean shorts, dining there. frankly, we would not have had a problem if they would just have enforced a strict no shorts policy, but this some shorts are ok and some aren't is kind of pretentious. monday the 16th was our anniversary and we began the day with breakfast of danish, mimosa, fruit and coffee served on our patio. a wonderful way to start the day! we spent the morning on the beach and ordered cheeseburgers from room service for lunch, which were merely ok. what was great was calling room service and having it delivered to the nude hot tub and eating it on the beach. on monday, eric played some volleyball in the nude pool and we finally started blending in with the group. this vacation was somewhat different than our usual vacations, which are either cruises or st. martin. usually on our vacations, we spend the whole week basically by ourselves and are perfectly happy. at gl, on the nude beach, in particular, a lot of the crowd kind of sits around and talks for a good portion of the day, either sitting on the beach or on floats in the ocean or the pool. you can be alone for the whole week if you want and no one will bother you. however, if you do make a little bit of an effort, you can join right in with the festivities. when we first go on vacation, we are still too stressed out to be too much fun, but by the end of the week, we were joining right in. we thought we needed some more champagne to make it through the afternoon, so we ordered champagne and brownies for an afternoon snack. they said it was going to take 45 minutes to bring and we missed it when they brought it, so we called them and had them re- deliver it to the room. eric got several cat- calls as he delivered the tray to me, sitting in the nude hot tub. six o'clock came and time to get dressed for the first time this day, as we had to get ready for dinner at piacere. a trip to piacere is a great experience, with fabulous service and food. we had a wonderful cabernet sauvignon, beef we could cut with a fork, wonderful crab cakes and lobster bisque soup. unfortunately for us, we made the mistake of telling them it was our anniversary and they delivered us their standard anniversary cake. trust me, the anniversary cake stunk. we wanted the hazelnut torte!! we should have just refused the cake, but they seemed to enjoy bringing it so much!! next time we will disavow all knowledge of anniversary dates!! we were surprised though, at how warm it was in piacere, especially since they require a jacket. they needed to shoot some of the a/c from the piano bar (which was very cold) over to piacere, and also to la pasta, which was also warm. tuesday morning we had breakfast at the buffet, then went over to hedonism ii for a tour of the new nude beach facilities. there are tours of hedonism every day at 10 a.m. and 3 p.m. basically, all you have to do is walk out the front gate and across the street and report to security at hedonism. we were the only ones there for the tour and we told the lady that all we wanted to do was to see the new nude hot tub and pool and go to the shop. technically, i think that they are not supposed to give people a tour of the nude facilities, so the girl just took us to the edge of the nude area and let us walk around on our own. the new nude pool, swim-up bar and misting area make the nude facilities at hedo much nicer than at gl right now. also, there is a grill right there by the nude pool at hedo. they are in the process of building a grill at gl at the nude pool, so hopefully in the near future, one will be able to just walk up and get a burger, etc., on the nude beach at gl. we then went to the gift shop at hedo and i bought an additional paperback book, plus some bacardi rum. this brings me to one of my other pet peeves for the week--even though the brochure for superclubs states that they have premium liquors, they had no bacardi at gl. i had posted a note requesting info about bacardi before we left home and some people on prodigy reported that they did serve bacardi and some other guests at gl reported that they had seen bacardi there before, but there was none during our stay. we talked to the fellow in the store at hedo about the subject and he said, as we suspected, that the lack of bacardi was political. because appleton rum is made in jamaica, superclubs does not serve bacardi. gl at least--don't know about the rest of the superclubs--also does not serve any beer except red stripe. after a successful shopping trip, we headed back to the beach for a couple of hours of sun before heading to the dining room for a lunch of bbq chicken, bbq port sandwich, stuffed shells and assorted salads and desserts. having acquired my bacardi rum, i thought it would be nice to have a real rum and coke after suffering through appleton and coke for three days. so, i put some bacardi in the bottom of my sipper cup (of course, a hedo cup) and went to the nude beach bar to have it filled with coke. of course, the bartender took a look in the cup and saw the rum and thought it was water and proceeded to dump out my rum!! i squawked, but not soon enough and had to go in and replenish the bacardi. for the rest of the week, i made sure to tell the bartender not to dump out my rum when i went to the bar. we went on the sunset cruise on tuesday, which is from 4 p.m. to 6:45. it was nice to do once, although i certainly wouldn't do it more than once in a week and not sure when we go back, whether we would do it again or not. they basically return you back to resort almost before sunset anyway. it was cloudy the night we went, so there was no sunset to watch. tuesday evening we went to la pasta for dinner for the only time for the week. it was ok, although the service was not nearly to the level of cafe lido or piacere. we had some garlic bread and wine and i had ravioli with meat sauce and eric had some pasta with a seafood sauce. wednesday we again had breakfast on our patio at our room, which except for monday night at piacere, was probably my favorite meals of the week, with danish, mimosa and that wonderful gl coffee. we actually did something on wednesday, taking out one of the small sunfish sailboats for a while. wednesday was the first day there was any wind at all and we enjoyed tooling around for an hour or so. around 4:30 it started a kind of a gentle rain and we repaired to the hot tub for a 3 bottle champagne night (before dinner), just eric and i. fortunately, dinner on wednesday was buffet in the main restaurant, which was fine, since we were feeling no pain by this time. thursday was the nude cruise, which is from about 10:30 to 12:15. there wasn't a particularly large group this trip and we had no problem finding seats on the benches all the way aft. it was hot, though, and we did take advantage of the hose on the top deck provided for cooling off. unlike the sunset cruise, which provided very light hors dourvres, there was nothing to eat on the nude cruise. we went to the main dining room for lunch and had a wonderful cajun lunch, with cajun steak and fries. dinner was again at cafe lido and provided another very unpleasant surprise. we arrived at cafe lido around 8 p.m. and wanted to eat inside. we were told that the wait to eat inside was approximately 15 groups, which we translated to being maybe in the nature of an hour. frankly, i don't find that acceptable, since except for the very limited number of seats at piacere (which required reservations) and the equally limited number of seats at la pasta, cafe lido is the only ++++++++++++++++++++++ nights. we decided to take the last remaining table outside. the service thursday night was, in a word, pitiful. the waiter took forever to take our order, our wine glasses sat empty most of the time, and the time between courses was interminable. we were very surprised considering what great food and service we had on the earlier occasions when we ate early. even though we didn't know it, apparently the resort was full, at least by thursday night. i am not sure that i find it acceptable, however, that one has to eat at 6:30 in order to get decent service at cafe lido. thursday night was the pj party, which was populated mostly by people from the nude beach. there were maybe 30 people there, as opposed to a hedo pj party, which seems to attract hundreds of people. from tuesday to wednesday, it had seemed like there was a major turnover of people on the nude beach, as a large number of people left and a bunch of new people came in. the crowd that arrived tuesday and wednesday was much younger than the previous week and i think that if we had been at the pj party the week before, it would have been pretty empty. anyway, the nude beach contingent did a good job, taking home all the prizes except most conservative and best couple. of course, our next door neighbor won "biggest bulge", so we proceeded to call him "big balls" for the rest of the week. after all the noise of the disco, we decided that the nude hot tub would be a much better venue, so we left first and called room service and ordered 4 bottles of champagne and 10 glasses. by the time the rest of the crowd arrived, the champagne had arrived and we had a good time, although the security guard kept coming by and shushing us. wednesday we again had breakfast on our patio at our room, which except for monday night at piacere, was probably my favorite meals of the week, with danish, mimosa and that wonderful gl coffee. we actually did something on wednesday, taking out one of the small sunfish sailboats for a while. wednesday was the first day there was any wind at all and we enjoyed tooling around for an hour or so. around 4:30 it started a kind of a gentle rain and we repaired to the hot tub for a 3 bottle champagne night (before dinner), just eric and i. fortunately, dinner on wednesday was buffet in the main restaurant, which was fine, since we were feeling no pain by this time. thursday was the nude cruise, which is from about 10:30 to 12:15. there wasn't a particularly large group this trip and we had no problem finding seats on the benches all the way aft. it was hot, though, and we did take advantage of the hose on the top deck provided for cooling off. unlike the sunset cruise, which provided very light hors dourvres, there was nothing to eat on the nude cruise. we went to the main dining room for lunch and had a wonderful cajun lunch, with cajun steak and fries. dinner was again at cafe lido and provided another very unpleasant surprise. we arrived at cafe lido around 8 p.m. and wanted to eat inside. we were told that the wait to eat inside was approximately 15 groups, which we translated to being maybe in the nature of an hour. frankly, i don't find that acceptable, since except for the very limited number of seats at piacere (which required reservations) and the equally limited number of seats at la pasta, cafe lido is the only choice for dinner most nights. we decided to take the last remaining table outside. the service thursday night was, in a word, pitiful. the waiter took forever to take our order, our wine glasses sat empty most of the time, and the time between courses was interminable. we were very surprised considering what great food and service we had on the earlier occasions when we ate early. even though we didn't know it, apparently the resort was full, at least by thursday night. i am not sure that i find it acceptable, however, that one has to eat at 6:30 in order to get decent service at cafe lido. thursday night was the pj party, which was populated mostly by people from the nude beach. there were maybe 30 people there, as opposed to a hedo pj party, which seems to attract hundreds of people. from tuesday to wednesday, it had seemed like there was a major turnover of people on the nude beach, as a large number of people left and a bunch of new people came in. the crowd that arrived tuesday and wednesday was much younger than the previous week and i think that if we had been at the pj party the week before, it would have been pretty empty. anyway, the nude beach contingent did a good job, taking home all the prizes except most conservative and best couple. of course, our next door neighbor won "biggest bulge", so we proceeded to call him "big balls" for the rest of the week. after all the noise of the disco, we decided that the nude hot tub would be a much better venue, so we left first and called room service and ordered 4 bottles of champagne and 10 glasses. by the time the rest of the crowd arrived, the champagne had arrived and we had a good time, although the security guard kept coming by and shushing us. friday morning i had wanted to eat at the room, but we didn't have any of the tags to order it, so we went to the main dining room. earlier in the week, i saw the maid and requested some of the hang tags and she gave me one, but she never replaced it. can't figure out if she was supposed to do that or not, but we were generally unimpressed with her service, as she missed our room at night twice, and generally came at really odd times, once coming at 10:30 p.m. after breakfast, we went to the concierge to book a plane flight back to mo bay, as the "going home blues" were starting to kick in and we decided that we couldn't go the bus trip. we tried to book what the concierge called the scheduled flight, which was supposed to be only $38 per person. however, there was only one seat left on that plane, so we had to do what she called the charter, which was $60 per person. we made some purchases in the gift shop and headed out to the beach for the day. friday was kind of an on and off day, as it was kind of cloudy and there were a few showers in the morning. we sat in the hot tub for most of them. finally on friday, we made the best choice of the week for lunch, deciding to order the lamb chops from room service. i had seen rave reviews regarding them, but hadn't paid much attention. however, take a word of advice and order two orders of lamb chops (comes with fries) and one chef salad for two people. wonderful!!!!! we spent the afternoon on the beach. i read most of the time and eric, along with about 20 other people, made kind of a floating island of floats, and sent messengers over to the nude bar for liquid libations. in the afternoon, we had made plans to all get together to eat dinner at the buffet and were supposed to meet before at a bar. i thought that we were supposed to meet at the main bar in the restaurant, but i wanted to get some hors dourvres first, as i was hungry, so we went to the piano bar around 7:10. unfortunately, they were just running out of some very tasty chicken wings and didn't replenish them. we did meet up with one couple from the nude beach, who proclaimed that we had been supposed to meet at the piano bar, not the main bar, and we kind of got trapped there with them, waiting for the others to show up. while we were sitting there, the wife of the captain of the zein came by to talk with the other couple. she said that the resort was totally full, at least that night, as they apparently can stay in a room there if the resort is not booked. otherwise they have to stay on the boat. she did say that they were getting ready to take the ship for repairs in july and the way that she talked, i wouldn't be surprised to see it gone for most of july and august. i sent eric out a couple of times to try to hunt for the others, but he never saw them. we had been looking all afternoon on the beach for gary and judy passama to show up and knew that they would be looking for us in the main restaurant also and i was somewhat anxious to escape. by 8:45, i finally convinced the other couple that the rest of the group had dissed us and that we needed to go eat. so, as we were walking from the piano bar i spied a couple kind of looking around and thought that it looked like gary and judy, who had sent us their pictures. i booked toward where they were, ostensibly leaving eric to apologize to the other couple, but he just followed me. well, it was in fact gary and we hugged and talked for a couple of minutes but they had already eaten and we decided that we'd better get something to eat. at this point, the other couple had disappeared, so we had dinner alone. after dinner, we hunted around for the other couple and found them at lapasta and apologized for disappearing. the rest of the group had appeared finally and was down by the dance floor, but we decided to go back in search of gary. we called their room and arranged to meet at the timber house for a non- alcoholic drink for them and an alcoholic drink for us. after some nice conversation, gary and judy decided to head off to bed and we headed off to the hot tub. we decided we needed a last order of potato skins and champagne, delivered to the hot tub. there was only one other couple there when we arrived. however, by the time the potato skins arrived, the rest of the group showed up and looked longingly at our potato skins. we ate them fast, as more people showed up, all hauling bottles of champagne, as well as one of those tall silver champagne buckets, which they proceeded to fill with bottles and arrange the others around the base. i can only verify 9 bottles of champagne, as that's all i saw before i pooped out around 12:30. eric told me lurid tales the next day of different methods of opening champagne bottles and shooting corks from the hot tub to the nude pool, plus of three of the group heading to the timber house au naturel, for more champagne and being denied because they had had enough. eric claims that the count was around 15 or so bottles for the night. all i know is that i woke up about 3:30 and saw that he was still not in bed so i went out to make sure he wasn't dead or drowned and hauled him out of the hot tub, as he and one other fellow were the last ones still there. saturday was our last day in paradise, and we started out the day with breakfast on our patio and congratulated ourselves on the fact that we had booked the plane flight back to mobay. we ended up with another two hours on the beach, plus a lunch of those wonderful lamb chops and chef salad as a result. instead of having to be at the front desk at 10:45 for the bus, we had to be there at 12:30 and proceeded with check-out, which took about one minute flat. the resort took us to gnat, which took about 5 minutes, as we watched with increasing trepidation the huge thunderstorm clouds in the distance. it was also a little disconcerting to have them ask us how much our luggage weighed. we were booked on a plane which seated around 10 people and had a superclubs logo on the side. despite my initial fears, the flight was very smooth, though we flew through a few showers. we arrived at mobay approximately an hour and 45 minutes before the flight and endured a pretty long check-in line for us air and had a relatively uneventful flight home. question--how do you know that you have had too much champagne at gl?? answer--when you're standing in the baggage claim area at bwi airport and think that you hear a champagne cork popping and it takes you a couple of minutes to figure out that's not what it was!! | ctr home | << back | toc | part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | next >> | search |

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